Orignally at
http://homepages.paradise.net.nz/kkowski/kirk.html (site now down)





Fuck you, Kirk. Fuck you

Fuck you, Kirk. Fuck you



Right, straight to the point. There is a "Maddox Knock-Off" website run by a guy called Kirk. He is, put simply, in terms I'm sure everyone can understand, the biggest cunt I have ever come across.

Now, below is the accurate and un-altered account of an e-mail conversation that took place between myself and "Tornado.Creator", the website administrator for www.angrybastards.com.

The reason I first e-mailed him was because I noticed that Kirk, the cunt, had been hired as a writer on our collaboration of writers, which is www.angrybastards.com
I was outraged, and so I wrote the following:

Please note: you MUST read the pages that I have provided a link to for all of this to make sense.



Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2005 03:18:22 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Xajkk" Add to Address Book
Subject: OMFG KIRK!!1
To: tornado.creator@gmail.com

You got Kirk?

Oh god....

Perhaps I have never mentioned that I despise him more so than any gangsta, street racer, or beatboxer on this earth. I...I really can't stand him... he is a laughing stock at my school and with my friends. And now I am affiliated with him. Fanfuckingtastic!! Now they get to laugh at me too!! Thank you so fucking much, mate.
He has like 20 plus spelling errors on every page...His rants are sucky... (I won't go into specific details because I'm sure we both, being ranters, know what I mean..his rants are stupid and just plain suck)
I don't hate people for no reason. I would tolerate him, ONLY if he hadn't written this page about homosexuals. http://www.phipster.quinteweb.com/kirk/holyhomo.htm (please read it)

My reasons for this...well..it's a long story...but I just find it really really offensive and tasteless. I am not gay at all, never have been, never will, but I have a friend who is gay...she has tried to kill herself so many times because of exactly this shit...she doesn't want to be gay, she hasn't "chosen" to be gay as kirk says...yadee yada.... people give her that same shit in that article every day and she goes home and punishes herself.
Yeah...I know that the stance on emo/goth bullshit people who cut themselves is to Laugh at them, but I actually ....well...contrary to the asshole i sometimes appear to be, I am something of a counsellor for these people...I find some people from various blogs n things who need help...I help them...I talk to them..comfort them...whatever....i usually have about 5 or 6 on msn that I am helping out....they all say I'm good to talk to...so I do it again...I think if you have the ability to save somebodies life, FUCKING HELL YOU HAD BETTER DO IT!!!

The point is, if my friend read that....she would fucking do herself right there and then....and of course you of all people know about maddox and drake etc's famous axoim "if you are stupid enough to kill yourself over something on the internet then its a good thing" But I couldnt disagree more, because I would turn to cutting myself, if it meant my friend could have a normal life again.. without getting depressed and cutting...and god only knows how many people have gone and hurt themselves because of Kirk, Maddox, etc...it's a fucking terrible thing..
And I just can't forgive him for something as totally inconsiderate as that. I hope to God that no gay person (or any person for that matter) ever reads that page...because when somebody cuts themself....I don't know if you have ever been through that or known somebody who has done that...but talking to somebody as they are bleeding their life away is something that is always going to stay with me for the rest of my life.


I just can't forgive him for that.



This was just a brief letter from me...showing my true colours..revealing why i REALLY use the internet....in the desperate hope that you will salvage angrybastards and get rid of kirk before our site starts to suck.

But somehow I doubt that. Becuase kirk is soooo amazing isnt he. I mean..have you ever READ his site!?!?!? It's pathetic!!!! but whatever, I bet you guys will all tell me to fuck off...it's always my luck. Just when I get into a good thing, somebody lame fucks my shit up. Always my luck.
Well, I am not going to say, "either he goes or I go"..

......just yet......


Sincerely
Xajkk



Tornado Creator replied with the following:

Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2005 23:42:56 +0100
From: "Tornado Creator" Add to Address Book
To: "Xajkk"
Subject: Re: OMFG KIRK!!1


WOAH!

First of all I invited you to join AngryBastards.com he requested to join the team and after reading the odd page I thought he wasn't too bad. You can guess who's staying yes?

I'm bisexual myself and I am deeply offended by articles like what you've just shown me... I had no idea that he had ever wrote that article before.

I am strongly in the "if your stupid enough to want to kill yourself hurry up and do it before you waste another valuable gulp of my air" groop simply because talking to angsty disckwads doesn't work. I used to be friends with an alcoholic, manic-depressive goth girl in college that I stopped from comitting suicide on a few occations but in the end I said that if she tries that shit again I'll hand her the fucking razor blades.

If it comes down to it I'll remove Kirk from the team. I had no idea he was so anti-gay.
I even said that there where 5 rules before joining the team.

1.) No anti-gay stuff.
2.) No racist/sexist stuff unless is obviously a joke.
3.) Nothing illegal.
4.) No porn.
5.) I don't except attachments.


He said those rules where fine.

Honestly. I've read only 3 articles of his.
I rarely read an entire website. I've not even read all of Maddox rants.

I'll put it to you... do you think you could associate yourself with him?
Personally I'm not sure if I even want to anymore.

From now on I'll be sure to consult yourself, Drake, Shoe, Minx and Hermes (if he's still awake... not heard from him in a while) before allowing anyone else to join the team.

PS: There is nothing wrong with valueing human life. What you did saved someones life so you should be proud.

Also, My internet connection is fucked up. I haven't been able to update. I'll update as soon as I can. I'm using a friends computer.

Hope this covers everything.
TornadoCreator



I then replied with this:


Date: Fri, 8 Jul 2005 01:34:43 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Xajkk" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: OMFG KIRK!!1
To: "Tornado Creator"


Thank you for understanding.

I also sometimes feel like there is no point talking to suicidal maniacs.....but then...just once....when you hear somebody telling you that you are the reason they stopped cutting and cleaned their life up...that you saved their life....that you broke their habbit of 2 years..... now THAT is something that stays with you for the rest of your life... and THAT is why I keep doing it.....
I have been fortunate in that I have only experienced one person who actually went through with it. I was talking to her and she was gurgling or something and I asked why...and she told me she was bleeding to death...God...I have a picture that the doctors took when they saved her (she did herself in a few days later though =< ) and I just look at that and think..."I have to do everything I can to stop this happening to anybody.." it scares me most of the time, hearing what some people say and seeing what people can do to themselves.....but hearing one "thank you" and a smiley :-) makes it all worth it...though im making it sound like I do this only for praise...it's not.

Anyway......
I won't be a bitch any more than I can help, so I will just say: READ THE WHOLE LOT NEXT TIME YOU HIRE SOMEBODY!! ;-)

And...okay..well if I told you to give kirk the boot...and you booted him...I would feel pretty guilty cos I'm too nice of a person..
So I suggest you bring that e-mail that I sent you and the article that kirk wrote, to the other members' attention, and that we take a vote. Hopefully they will all see sense. Hopefully. And if they all vote for him to stay...I might have to leave myself because I honestly do not want anything to do with him...he is slime...I just couldn't live with myself if I went around saying "hey everyone go to www.angrybastards.com because we have awesome writers who rule so much and are fine people" when kirk is a fucking discriminating douchebag...I can't bring myself to advertise for him. He e-mailed me about a week before he got onto angrybastards, he wanted to do a link exchange with me, and I politely but firmly told him to GET FUCKED because I don't want anything to do with him and I certainly don't want anythign to do with making him more popular (which is why I havent written a rant about him yet, though he is about number 2 on my list of fuckers)

That's my two cents on the matter. Please circulate all of this crap to the others and when they know all the facts, ask them if they want him to stay. Does that sound reasonable to you?

-Xajkk



And with this:


Date: Fri, 8 Jul 2005 02:04:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Xajkk" Add to Address Book
Subject: other stuff i forgot in the first one =P
To: "Tornado Creator"


And also...I got a little carried away with the previous email, and I forgot to point out that his latest articles (about some stupd bullshit) has got fucking awful spelling and gramatical errors, for example: ( will highlight the bullshit in his article)


(this is a quote from Kirk's website, and I will bold the parts that I had highlighted in the e-mail)

I Won A Fucking Cock Shirt.

I admit it, I read ninjapirate. Though he's not always that good, hes still better then most. Now recently if you've been reading he put up some google ads to cover the cost of his shirts which he needed to sell. I love free shit so I pretisapated in each of his little competions. I didnt get posted for the first few. Untel he told people to make a "gayvampire" movie. AND I FUCKING WON! HahAHahHAHAHAHAha. My movie was unbelivable sucky. (which he was looking for) Fuck me. I am so horny.

Here is where you can see everyones movies. To see my video download "The Kirk." How fucking sweet..


I am telling you...you have to have the cranial capacity of a dead branch to come up with shit that bad. I can't believe people like him. I mean..you DO see that everything he write's is bullshit...don't you? It is important that you (and the world) realise that.........Kirk is bullshit. End of story!!

If you need further proof of this, I suggest you read these articles, which strongly demonstrate my point. Fuck he is a retard.


http://www.phipster.quinteweb.com/kirk/mcdonalds.htm

http://www.phipster.quinteweb.com/kirk/badass.htm

http://www.phipster.quinteweb.com/kirk/catkilled.htm

http://www.phipster.quinteweb.com/kirk/hahhahahahahahha.htm

http://www.phipster.quinteweb.com/kirk/hatemail69.htm

http://www.phipster.quinteweb.com/kirk/NewYear.htm




They all illustrate my point accurately. He is a cruel, sadistic, idiotic, foolish, pathetic attempt at a human being.

-Xajkk



It was then that Tornado Creator, (did I ever mention he is a great guy!?) made me very happy:


Date: Fri, 8 Jul 2005 09:47:20 +0100
From: "Tornado Creator" Add to Address Book
To: "Xajkk"
Subject: Re: OMFG KIRK!!1

Well. I have since recieved a few complaints from some of the readers saying that he brings the site down just by association.

I have said if he removes the page you sent me I'll keep him on the team assuming no-one else complains however if I know Kirk as much as I think I do, chances are he'll say no.
If he doesn't remove that page I will remove him from the site for good.
However if he does how would you feel about him still writing for the site.

If I keep receiving e-mails I'll remove him anyway.

After all the only writers I invited in where Drake, Almighty Shoe, Minx and Yourself... anyone else is easily lost/replaced.
I would rather keep you that Kirk if given the choice.

And with this, too:


Date: Fri, 8 Jul 2005 10:30:25 +0100
From: "Tornado Creator" Add to Address Book
To: "Xajkk"
Subject: Re: OMFG KIRK!!1

No, actually I didn't read the page. I had too much stuff to do at the time. I try to read everything.

To be honest. I have recieved 3 more e-mails today about him now so I think it's fair to say he's going.


Date: Fri, 8 Jul 2005 10:32:29 +0100
From: "Tornado Creator" Add to Address Book
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by gmail.com. Learn more
To: "Xajkk"
Subject: Re: other stuff i forgot in the first one =P

Like I said. I have read a couple of his pages and they weren't bad.... I guess I just picked the best of his stuff when revieing his site.


So there you go. A true and accurate account of the dealings with regard to the bigot that is Kirk. As of this moment, (22:11 hours, Friday 8th of July, 2005) I am not exactly sure about what Tornado.Creator is doing about kirk, I can only hope that he is writing him a harse e-mail, telling him he is out of angrybastards.com, and that he is a loser. More people need to tell him he is a loser.

I wanted to make this in case of any discrepancy...I don't trust this fucker more than I could kick his fat arse (and I am a goalkeeper; I can kick pretty damn well). I want the world to know that Kirk is a lame shit-head with no brains, and even less balls. I am kind of angry that a fuck-head like Kirk has taken up so much of my time and effort tonight, but I am glad that I have done this..I want kirk out of AngryBastards...
I am a little tense about the response my revelation will receive (the bit where I told you all about how I help depressed people) but I think it is a totally worthy cause...Saving lives...come on, how can it not be? Rhetorical Question.

Hate-mail Kirk for me. Please. Everyone, send the wrath in. I own a website like his, and I know that underneath the ranter's poised and badass exterior, that when they read a hate-mail, it can hurt. And I just gave away a trade secret. Oh well. The point is, that if he gets enough hate-mail, maybe, just MAYBE, he will at least alter his site, if not give up on it.


Anyone unfortunate enought to have read his site, well you should back me up. The magnitude of his arse-ness is just impossible to express, but I know that when you read his website, you get a feeling inside of pure disgust. I know you do. That is about the best description of the feeling I and many others have for him I can manage at this time of night.

I hope this helps "PWN" Kirk in some way. Is anyone proficient at making viruses? I would like to hear from you. Actually, forget about me and just own Kirk...please...we need to get rid of this shit. Somebody infect him wth mass-spy and adware. Somebody treat his dipshit ass to a length of four-by-two. Somebody just get rid of this website. Lord knows I am not the man to do it, with no knowledge of viruses, or anything else with the capability to get rid of him. Somebody. Please.


Please.







Linkage:

Xajkk.com

Kirk's Gay Site

AngryBastards.com

Writers on AngryBastards:

Tornado.Creator

DrakeGTA

The Almighty Shoe

Minx